Self-reliant.
Self-help.
Self-made millionaire.
We are a culture that values independence and the “can-do” spirit of the individual. The words above are commonly used to reflect those values. I believe that by using such words, we are reinforcing an unrealistic and impossible expectation.
When I decided to enroll in a coach training program, it took a while for a certain reality to fully sink in: I was going back to school. While it’s not school in the traditional sense, it pushes the same buttons. The biggest button, lit up and flashing wildly, is the “good student” button.
In the 2001 movie “America’s Sweethearts,” Eddie (John Cusak) spends some time in a wellness center, recovering from the very public breakup of his celebrity marriage. Part of his program includes expressing gratitude: “I’m grateful for the earth… I’m grateful for the stars and the sky…” While the movie portrays his chanting of gratitude as a point of comic relief, there’s truth to the scenario.
Growing up, the two best days of the year were the last day of school and the first day of school. I used to practice my handwriting in my new notebooks, trying to decide who I was going to be that school year. As a 10-year-old, changing my story was as easy as changing my handwriting. As adults, we know it’s not quite so easy.
This past week I led a lively discussion about empowering language with a group of women from Washington Women’s Employment & Education, and towards the end of the class, one young lady commented,
“I know you said that using these disempowering words is draining, but I’m feeling drained trying to catch myself using them and then figuring out what to replace them with! My brain hurts!“
What a fabulous comment! Her observation underscores an important point: the words we think and say are the often the result of unintentional habits. Forming new habits and choices is a process and not always comfortable or easy. The flip side is that it can be fun and energizing, once we begin to see the positive results that come from breaking the mental ruts we get ourselves into.
That’s one of the reasons I developed Mind Over Chatter Monday eNews: to support you as you bust out of the ruts that have held you back. My intention is to provide you with fuel for the journey in the form of insights, encouragement and resources, and to support you in staying aligned with your most powerful self.
Yes, it’s work, and your brain might hurt, and it’s worth it if it creates the life of love and ease you deserve.
Getting Curious:
Are you open to possibility 24-hours-a-day? What blocks you? What doors are open right now for you? Which ones will you walk through?
